solitude

solitude stands in the window...

i feel lonely today. It's as if i am longing for a connection with people. a meeting of the minds. a spiritual, mental, and emotional connection. whenever i feel like this, i feel that i am losing myself in a whirlwind of doubt and uncertainty. like an unwanted kitten left in the middle of nowhere.

sure, i have friends. i have the love of the most beautiful, caring and understanding woman. But, i feel that a part of me is still wanting, and longing for something... in the words of sarah mclachlan i am in search for "a beautiful release."

heck even the way i write seems disjointed. just an endless stream of words. WORDS. But who gives meaning to words? do words really come close to exploring what we really want, feel, hope for, and desire? i have always wanted to write words that would make other people understand what i think and feel. words that would move them to explore their own longing, and search for answers to questions plaguing our very existence. But alas i am not gifted enough to do that. And so all i have are my thoughts put into words, or to be exact all i have are words longing to reflect what i think.

ah.. maybe this is just boredom, or the cold december climate. anyway i just want to have that connection that would verify my existence.